For years now ive made a huge mistake, ive been trying to find my happiness and confidence in someone else, in relationships, friendships and that just hasn't worked mainly because what ive learned is self happiness and confidence comes from within yourself and only you can fix that, it might seem pretty obvious now, but all your concentrated on at the time is trying to be happy and it kind of takes you away from reality a little bit.
My situation has never helped. Me being gay and me having basically my own style and identity has gave me a lot of unwanted attention! you would think that would give me self confidence all this attention but it actually picks at it, dont get me wrong i wouldn't change myself for the world. It is hard though, my friends notice it a lot as well, like i hate walking past big crowds of people so usually i force my friends to walk to the other side of the street just to avoid them, i guess that wheres the whole 'Social Anxiety' comes in. Its got so much better but its taken me years and years just to get this happiness i have at this moment in time. So here is some tips on how i like to stay positive and deal with social anxiety.
First of all i know its so hard but just remember that your not the center of the universe, i know i have a lot of trouble when i see someone looking at me or there harmlessly just speaking to there friends and you automatically think there speaking about you because one of them happen to look over, dont think that just stop and take a moment, take a deep breath, clear your mind and just relax! say to yourself, why would thy be speaking about me? they dont even know me, im just being silly' trust me it works! dont over evaluate things!
Second, think happy thoughts, think about what your having for dinner tonight, if your out to go shopping think about what you need and how much it might cost, or if your out just for a nice little walk in the park bring a pair of earphones, plug them in and listen to your favurite music! i always do that! doesn't matter where im going i will always bring my earphones! its such a calming thing to do it takes your mind of it all, especially if you have problems socially.
Third, now if your actually in a situation where you bump into an old friend or something, take deep breaths, loads of happy thoughts, have a chat, its okay to fall silent sometimes because a conversation is a two way street! and after the conversations done, i promise you, you will feel really good and proud of yourself!. Its a step by step process take your time, it takes time to overcome any sort of disorder or problem in your life, it wont happen unless you work for it! think of it as a voluntary job, its not something you really want to be doing in your spare time but you no its for a good cause!.
The fourth is actually one of my favurite, is exercising!. When you exercise your body releases chemicals called endorphin. These endorphin's interact with the receptors in your brain that reduces your perception of pain! Endorphin also triggers a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. For example, the feeling that follows a run or workout is often described as "euphoric." That feeling, known as a "runner's high," can be accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life.
Being happy with yourself takes time, a lot of time, but if you want it bad enough its never to far out of your grasp you just need to stretch a little further and further until you get it.
I hope these couple of tips helped out, i personally follow these and it works for me but doesn't mean they will work for you, you just need to keep trying to find your inner happiness and to keep a clear and level head when it comes to social anxiety just remember to always question it, always.
Thanks For Reading!xo
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